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I don't really know anymore.

I really and truly don't know what I want, know, or need anymore. Everything is happening so fast, it's like a blur before my eyes. I don't know exactly what, but something has changed. Something drastic. I have no clue what that thing is, and I'm not sure I really want to know.  I just feel like the weather changing in my direction and I need to figure some things out. I miss having some people in my life, well more than they are now. I never really was close to this certain person, even though I wish I could be. Oh, how I wish for us to be close like every other family I see. I want to have that special relationship that you are suppose to have with your father. But sadly, that will most likely never happen. And that is what hurts me the most.

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